The Daily Gut  ·  Deaths & Funeral NoticesFriday 20 November 2026

In loving memory  ·  You are invited

A funeral for the probiotics that died in your stomach.

Billions were swallowed with hope. Most never arrived. On Friday we say goodbye properly.

Friday 20 November 2026  ·  19:00 SAST  ·  On this page  ·  Wear black

--Days
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Mourners who RSVP receive the order of service, a front-row seat on the night, and the first reading of the will on Wednesday 25 November, 48 hours before anyone else. By RSVPing you agree to receive emails about the funeral from Velobiotics until 30 November. Unsubscribe any time.

Death notice from The Daily Gut: Probiotics, billions of. Passed away suddenly in stomach acid.

The obituary

They were swallowed with such hope.

They left the factory in their billions. They were counted, labelled and sealed. Then they met your stomach: acid at around pH 2, built to destroy the bacteria that arrive with your food, and very good at its job.

The number on a label tells you how many set out. It does not tell you how many were still alive where they were needed.

So this Friday we are giving them the send-off they deserve. No flowers.

pH 2Stomach acid. Strong enough to do exactly what it evolved to do.
99.9%Loss of unprotected bifidobacteria within two to three hours of stomach-strength acid, as reported in published laboratory studies.
1000xMore live probiotics to your gut with patented Velobiotics™ microencapsulation. See how we get that number.
"The biggest cemetery in the country is your stomach."
From the eulogy

Order of service

Four acts. Two weeks. Wear black.

  1. Mon 16 to Thu 19 NovThe Death NoticeThe news breaks. Condolences are welcome.
  2. Fri 20 Nov, 19:00The FuneralThe film premieres on this page.
  3. Wed 25 Nov, 06:00The WillThe departed left something. Mourners who RSVP'd hear it first.
  4. Fri 27 to Mon 30 NovThe After-TearsNot everyone died. The survivors are going out.

The funeral film

Premieres here.

Friday 20 November, 19:00 SAST. Not a minute before.

A rumour

They say not everyone died.

Mourners at the acid lake report a small green figure walking across the surface in a shield of its own. We are not able to confirm this until after the funeral.

What we can say: each Velobiotics probiotic is wrapped in its own micron-thin coat, formed in supercritical carbon dioxide, tested in peer-reviewed laboratory studies. Read the science.

A green clay microbe in a protective bubble crosses a lake of stomach acid while grey microbes watch from the shore.

Put Your Gut First.
A notice from Velobiotics (Pty) Ltd. No probiotics were harmed in the making of this funeral that were not already doomed.
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